I have a fetish...

It's a form of masochism, I think.

I argue with theists in theological forums.This is a sick and twisted thing for an atheist to do, because it's about as productive and well-advised as throwing fruit at police cars. In fact, it's as unproductive as arguing about music - a practice I often admonish my musically passionate friends for when they engage in it. But every once in a while, I get payback. This comes in various forms. For example, I may be just about to lose interest in a long drawn-out debate about the problem of evil, when I'm tossed a gem like this one:

I'm not here on earth to party and have a good time. I'm here to learn my lesson. Imagine your painless world for a minute. What will a murderer learn if he cannot murder? If he cannot see his victim's life drain from it and TRULY KNOW the consequences of his actions?

Seeing the words "What will a murderer learn if he cannot murder?" eminating from the keyboard of a perfectly serious, otherwise functioning human being is an experience I could not conjure out of my own imagination. This person has clearly lost control of his television set and entered the realm of the Outer Limits. I marvel at this.

Another form of payback is the occasional introduction to the transcendent character. As an illustration, I give you one Mr. JP Holding, proprietor of http://www.tektonics.org/. Mr. Holding is a self-professed, self-styled Christian Apologist. I put this title in capital letters to signify that Holding does this full time. It is his profession to defend Christianity from the scrutiny of skeptics. Actually, his degree is in library science, but I believe he is presently unemployed. So he writes "scholarly" works defending Christianity from evil skeptics like myself, and solicits donations to support his activities.

Now, over the years there have been many Christian apologists of note, many of them scholars, academics, university staff, etc., and most of them are not notable or, as I say, transcendent in the way that JPH is. Holding is transcendent for a number of reasons. First and foremost, he's the Don Rickles of Christian apologetics. It's a thing to behold. Once he realizes someone is not buying into his apologetics, he unleashes a string of insults back at them with every post. For example, if one points out the pitiful lack of verifyable biographical data contained in the Gospels, JP responds with this:

"So, where's your expertise on GR bioi then, schelppy? Leave it behind the door when you rushed out for your box of Munchkins from Dunkin' Donuts?"

He really does talk like this. It's the Bible As Rocket Science philosophy - a canard that the Roman Catholic Church used for years as its basis for authority (although Holding is not RC).

Holding even draws comics of his critics where he ridicules them further. Some Christians are not amused. They ask JPH.. "Is that the way a Christian is supposed to act?" Well, apparently it is, because JP will happily provide a scholarly treatise on why insulting your opponents is actually biblical. None of this "wimpy Jesus" stuff for him.

The third form of payback is the rare and elusive argument-I've-never-heard-before. Just recently, a fundy came at me with this one:

Atheism is a bankrupt worldview because it does not argue in favor of anything.

Hmmm.

According to this mental acrobat, atheism has nothing to contribute - all atheists ever do is turn the conversation around and argue against God. One day he challenges me to defend atheism without arguing AGAINST the existence of God. Can't do it, ha? Ha?? I explain that atheism is, in fact, a lack of belief in God and I respectfully ask how one could possibly defend a lack of belief in x without actually arguing against the existence of x.

He has no plausible response to this. So he launches an attack on my character, and the character of all atheists. Apparently, we're all a bunch of hypocrites. For many Christians, prejudice is perfectly acceptable as long as it is aimed at atheists.

As an old friend used to say, we atheists just have to be damn pleased. It wasn't very long ago that they could boil us in oil if they wanted to.