No Choice But To Kill Him

Check out this dude named Rahman.

Rahman used to be a Muslim. Now he's a Christian. Q'ran out - Bible in. In other words, Rahman switched comic books. He went from Marvel comics to DC comics.

So the folks at Marvel have to kill him.

I mean, it's written right in the bylaws of the comic publishers. If somebody stops being a Marvel comic guy and becomes ANYthing else, (especially a DC comics guy), the punishment is death. Death to Rahman.

Stupid Rahmen. After leaving Europe, where he lived for a while and converted, Rahman returned to his native Afghanistan and tells his family (who are all Marvel comic types) that he's converted to DC. Naturally, they turned him in. What else could they do?

They turned him in to these guys:

These are the Marvel comic clerics. Stand up guys, all. They confer, and say- "Rahman, renounce your belief in DC comics and you will go free." Rahman, standing firm in his conviction that he is a die-hard DC man, refuses. Superman is real. Aquaman is fake. He could no more deny this than he could deny that the sun rises in the East. DC comic folks the world over rejoiced and applauded Rahman's bravery. The clerics have no choice other than to behead him. It says so right in the bylaws.

Now, the folks over at DC comics have their panties in a serious bunch about this, of course. See, THEY changed their bylaws about 300 years ago. Used to be that if you were a DC reader and you read some other comic, you were put to death also. But not anymore. Now you can read any comic book you want, and no one's going to kill you. You can believe in Superman, or you can believe in Wolverine. You can even safely admit to reading R. Crumb, although you'll be considered a freak. This makes them civilized over at DC.

The clerics are barbaric, they say - admitting, in a sense that for 1700 years they too were barbarians. But now they're civilized. And it's time for the Marvel folks to become civilized too. Or else. Dontcha think?