It's time to burn all 4-track cassette recorders
I offer no apologies, and hold my head up high as I admit to the following - I'll take a well produced Janet Jackson song over a low-fi Guided by Voices song almost any day of the week. 
Overproduced
I know this is blasphemy. I know Guided by Voices is considered by many to be stark naked human creativity at its finest. I know that Janet Jackson songs are pretty much formula. I know that state-of-the-art production on a vapid Nelly tune is just lipstick on a pig. I know that the industry's finest producers are all out there polishing turds.
Underproduced
But see - I want to hear that kick drum pounding in my chest cavity, yo, not something that sounds like wax paper being spanked. I want to bask in the sound of an acoustic guitar that sparkles and resonates deeply through sweetly seasoned wood. I want to close my eyes and hear a well-sung vocal awash in rich, clean reverb that makes me feel like I'm floating in a beautifully tuned acoustic space. I want the backing vocals to sound FAT and the guitars to sound PHAT and the synth pads to sound fucking OBESE. I want quiet passages to sound so quiet I can hear insects in the room breathing.
Dammit.
Overproduced
This is why I became a recording engineer, because a kick-ass recording rocks my world like nothing else.
And also because I can't stand to hear tape hiss. Or tinny guitars. Or non-existant low end. Or any other such audio foppery.
When I hear that crap, I can't hear the music. I don't want to hear the music. It could be the world's finest lyric set to the world's most beautiful melody, but all I hear are fingernails on blackboard.
Underproduced
Yeah, I know - It's the songwriting, stupid. Fine. You got a good song? Record the fucking thing in hi-fidelity. This is the 21st century. We are no longer singing into Victrolas that scratch out patterns on wax cylinders. Pink Floyd recorded one of the finest sounding records ever - Dark Side of the Moon in 1973 and technology has been improving exponentially since then. Yet still today we have savants like Robert Pollard putting out recordings that sound like open ass.
ROBERT. DUDE. We have preamps built to specs that would make NASA engineers drool. And the stuff is cheap. There are kids in grammar school who have every digital and analog sound processor in the known universe in their bedroom closets. There is no longer any excuse for any recording to have a signal to noise ratio above .000000000000001%.
Look, I can wolf down and enjoy a Big Mac as much as anybody, but why bother if Chateaubriand is the same price? See here's where this analogy really hits home for me. I pay exactly the same amount of money for a CD that was beautifully and painstakingly recorded in a world class studio as I do for a CD of some smug, artsy dude who hasn't combed his hair in six months hocking lugies at a 4-track cassette recorder and touting himself as some kind of rock and roll purist. Sorry, bucko. You ain't a purist. You're a lazy fuck who is afraid to put in a little production effort because you're paranoid that it's going to wind up sounding sterilized. Well that won't happen if you know what you're doing. You say don't care how bad it sounds because the idea is to focus on the song and not the production.
What a crock. What a cop-out.
Here's what I say - maybe you have great songs. But there are other artists out there who have great songs and have taken the time to learn the craft of sound recording and production and apply it to make the bitches sound BETTER. In my book, their shit is BETTER than yours, Mr. Hockalugee. Mr. Behringer Hockalugee.
And yeah, there are plenty of artists who overcook the meat and ruin it. We used to call that "walking past the money". But this is not a reason to eat only raw meat. It's a reason to learn how to properly use a stove. As soon as I read a review where the recording is described as "raw", I know that's a euphemism for "recorded in a garage by a bunch of drunks".
To hell with that. I'll have mine medium rare. With a nice Chianti.
Overproduced
I know this is blasphemy. I know Guided by Voices is considered by many to be stark naked human creativity at its finest. I know that Janet Jackson songs are pretty much formula. I know that state-of-the-art production on a vapid Nelly tune is just lipstick on a pig. I know that the industry's finest producers are all out there polishing turds.
Underproduced
But see - I want to hear that kick drum pounding in my chest cavity, yo, not something that sounds like wax paper being spanked. I want to bask in the sound of an acoustic guitar that sparkles and resonates deeply through sweetly seasoned wood. I want to close my eyes and hear a well-sung vocal awash in rich, clean reverb that makes me feel like I'm floating in a beautifully tuned acoustic space. I want the backing vocals to sound FAT and the guitars to sound PHAT and the synth pads to sound fucking OBESE. I want quiet passages to sound so quiet I can hear insects in the room breathing.
Dammit.
Overproduced
This is why I became a recording engineer, because a kick-ass recording rocks my world like nothing else.
And also because I can't stand to hear tape hiss. Or tinny guitars. Or non-existant low end. Or any other such audio foppery.
When I hear that crap, I can't hear the music. I don't want to hear the music. It could be the world's finest lyric set to the world's most beautiful melody, but all I hear are fingernails on blackboard.
Underproduced
Yeah, I know - It's the songwriting, stupid. Fine. You got a good song? Record the fucking thing in hi-fidelity. This is the 21st century. We are no longer singing into Victrolas that scratch out patterns on wax cylinders. Pink Floyd recorded one of the finest sounding records ever - Dark Side of the Moon in 1973 and technology has been improving exponentially since then. Yet still today we have savants like Robert Pollard putting out recordings that sound like open ass.
ROBERT. DUDE. We have preamps built to specs that would make NASA engineers drool. And the stuff is cheap. There are kids in grammar school who have every digital and analog sound processor in the known universe in their bedroom closets. There is no longer any excuse for any recording to have a signal to noise ratio above .000000000000001%.
Look, I can wolf down and enjoy a Big Mac as much as anybody, but why bother if Chateaubriand is the same price? See here's where this analogy really hits home for me. I pay exactly the same amount of money for a CD that was beautifully and painstakingly recorded in a world class studio as I do for a CD of some smug, artsy dude who hasn't combed his hair in six months hocking lugies at a 4-track cassette recorder and touting himself as some kind of rock and roll purist. Sorry, bucko. You ain't a purist. You're a lazy fuck who is afraid to put in a little production effort because you're paranoid that it's going to wind up sounding sterilized. Well that won't happen if you know what you're doing. You say don't care how bad it sounds because the idea is to focus on the song and not the production.
What a crock. What a cop-out.
Here's what I say - maybe you have great songs. But there are other artists out there who have great songs and have taken the time to learn the craft of sound recording and production and apply it to make the bitches sound BETTER. In my book, their shit is BETTER than yours, Mr. Hockalugee. Mr. Behringer Hockalugee.
And yeah, there are plenty of artists who overcook the meat and ruin it. We used to call that "walking past the money". But this is not a reason to eat only raw meat. It's a reason to learn how to properly use a stove. As soon as I read a review where the recording is described as "raw", I know that's a euphemism for "recorded in a garage by a bunch of drunks".
To hell with that. I'll have mine medium rare. With a nice Chianti.
posted by Soundsurfr at 10:03 AM
3 Comments:
Probably won't burn my 246 but I will certainly keep it in its box so it can continue to hold up a cd rack.
yeah, I'm with you on this'n. I do love 24-track analog but jesus is it time-consuming after th' DAW. And the tape is so fucking expensive. If you can find it.
Nobody's going to pillory you if you want an analog stage for your bass 'n' drums but, yeah, let's not make bad-sounding recordings and act like it's cool. It's like mono reverb- I hate that. It doesn't happen in nature, you know?
I hear ya. And Louie Louie wouldn't be as good if it was a pristine recording. I guess my real gripe is with lo-fi chic.
I agree, too, especially as you put it in your comment above. That fake-raw incompetent "my record is more real than yours" bullshit is too popular these days.
Which I guess is why I've never heard Guided By Voices, so far as I know, but I own every Fountains of Wayne album. They got hand claps 'n' shit.
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