Senate Passes Heinous New Bill...

The bill, introduced by John McAin, that sniveling, self-righteous, black-child-rearing destroyer of all that is Conservative and Good resolves to have the United States Government abide by the leftist pinko communistic rules of the Geneva Convention with regard to the humane treatment of prisoners.

No torture? We cannot have this. Torture is essential. We must have torture. We must veto this. But wait, it's attached to the defense spending bill ---OH....AUGGGH.....EEEEGGGH......

Silvio, George, Jeff and Kenneth

Hello nice people. Allow me to introduce my self. My name is Silvio Berlusconi.

I am the prime minister of my country. I am also the richest person in all of Italy. You like that nice white outfit I'm wearing? I paid a hundred million lire just for the headband. So check this out - not only am I Prime Minister and the richest dude in the land - I own or control almost all of the media in my country! Isn't that great?? I personally own two of the nation's largest newspapers. And a large percentage of the country's radio stations. Oh, and I own three of the country's primary television stations. The other three are controlled by the government. Which is..... me! I have effective control over 90% of all national television broadcasting in my beautiful Italy. I own record companies, too. You should buy my new CD of me singing lounge act songs. It's a beautiful thing, and it's better than that stupid John Ashcroft video.

You know what's amazing? No matter what I do, there's hardly anything on Italian TV that is critical of me. They just love me those fucking guys. Can you believe it? And the public loves me too. They know what a fabulous business man I am, which in turn makes me supremely qualified to run the country for the next, say, 45 years. It's like if Donald Trump bought every newspaper, television and radio station in the US, then became President. What do you think that would be like? We have elections because Italy is a democracy, of course, but I always win. The other guys just don't seem to ever be able to mount a very good media campaign against me. Go feegura, as my mother used say.

Anybody got a problem with any of this? Fine, take me to court. Wait, let me just enact this new law granting me immunity from lawsuits like that. OK, done. Now sue me. Oh, too bad. You can't.

Now let me introduce you to my good friend, George W. Bush. George and me are big time amici. He's rich like me, and he's learning how to run the media, too! He's already got the keys to the media Ferrari with that FOX network. I can't believe that Rupert Murdoch guy is not an Italian. He's a fucking genius, I tell you. But George, he's no genius. First thing you do, I tell him over at the ranch one day, is start paying people to forward your political agenda on ALL the TV and radio stations - not just FOX. But you don't tell anybody you're paying them, you shangatz. You hire a real news person and you make it sound like it's a real news program.

So he does that. And he gets caught, because he's a chooch. He never explained to the newspeople he hired that when someone asks you if you've been paid by the government you say NO FUCKING WAY, or you end up in the river with cement shoes. No. Instead, somebody asks this guy - "Did you get paid by the Bush Administration for that broadcast?" and he says "Oh yeah. 'Course I did." And the guy is still walking around with real kneecaps.

Sigh. Let's try something else, I say. You know that press room you got in the White House? There are guys in there with press passes who are asking you REAL QUESTIONS. Man, what are you thinking? You need to get patsy's in there, and I'm not talking about my cousin Patsy, who's a meatball - I'm talking about guys who work for YOU asking questions that YOU want them to ask. He understands this, but who does he pick to start the ball rolling? Jeff Gannon, male prostitute. Was I supposed to say -George, use somebody who won't later be identified as a male prostitue, or does that go without saying?? This president, his brains are scrambled like an overcooked googootz.

I tell him, okay paisan, let's try this one more time. You really need to do something about this public broadcasting bullshit. I was watching that Macneil-Lehrer news report one day and these guys are showing all kinds of stuff that nobody's supposed to know about. Pictures from Abu Graib and whatnot. Then I listen to National Public Radio, and they're interviewing actual Iraqi citizens about the state of affairs in Iraq.... ON THE AIR for cryin' out loud. Not even CNN would pull that kind of stunt. George, I tell him, you need to get a Pinnochio kinda guy and appoint him in charge of public broadcasting, because this is out of hand.

Now, when I say Pinnochio, I don't mean the kind whose nose grows when he lies, (that's the LAST thing you want) but the kind who, when you pull on the string, he does what he's supposed to do. So George, he gets this guy Kenneth Tomlinson and puts him in charge of public broadcasting. Tomlinson, he's a good Pinnochio, but he's a stoonad. He comes up with this campaign to make public broadcasting more balanced and less "liberal". So far so good. Lotsa people think PBS is part of the liberal conspiracy front so you gotta play into that. But the first thing he does is he messes with Bill Moyer. You don't mess with Bill Moyer, man - he's a BAPTIST. That would be like me messing with the Pope, and you know I know where MY bread is buttered, baby. Then who does this Tomlinson call up to give him advice on how to make PBS less biased? Karl Rove. That's right, Karl Rove and there's an email trail to confirm it. This jaboney gets his ass fired in less than a year and now he's under criminal investigation for misuse of funds! Jesu Christu in a Sidecar Georgie, don't you own the courts yet??? And how is it that there were still people on the board of PBS who could get your little Pinnochio fired?

Haven't I taught you anything?

IDiots on parade

<----Dover PA Board of Education



I followed the Dover PA Intelligent Design trial with utter fascination. Here's one of the many things I learned -

It is entirely possible for a person who is as dumb as a rock to be elected to a school board and become responsible for the education of children.

This is an excerpt of the cross-examination of Mrs. Heather Geesey, (former) Dover PA board member and ignoramus extraordinaire:

Q Now, you said you voted for the October 18 curriculum change because you liked it.
A Yes.
Q You supported the change.
A Yes.
Q It -- because it gave a balanced view of evolution.
A Yes, I mean . . .
Q It presented an alternative theory?
A Yes.
Q And the policy talks about gaps and problems with evolution?
A Yes.
Q Yes. You don't know what those gaps and problems refer to, do you?
A No.
Q But it's good to teach about those gaps and problems?
A That -- yes, that's our mission statement, yes.
Q But you have no idea what they are?
A It's not my job, no.
Q Is it fair to say that you didn't know much about intelligent design in October of 2004?
A Yes.
Q And you didn't know much about the book Of Pandas and People either, did you?
A Correct.
Q So you had never participated in any discussions of the book?
A No.
Q And you made no effort independently to find out about the book?
A No.
Q And the administration had made copies of the book available to board members.
A Yes.
Q But you never read the book.
A No.
Q And no one ever explained to you what intelligent design was about.
A No.
Q And you never got any instructional materials or tapes about intelligent design.
A No.
Q And you never viewed any or read any books about intelligent design.
A No.
Q And you didn't study it independently.
A No.
Q You didn't go on the Internet and look it up.
A No.
Q So you didn't really think too much about intelligent design.
A No.
Q You just knew it was something else that the kids were going to learn?
A Yes.
Q And it was a theory that was different from Darwin's view.
A Yes.
Q And what you testified earlier is that you were relying on the recommendation of the curriculum committee.
A Yes.
Q And that was their job.
A Yes.
Q And because they were recommending the introduction of intelligent design, you were going to go along with that.
A Yes.
Q And you thought it was a good idea to introduce an alternative to evolution.
A Yes.
Q Now, it wasn't the entire curriculum committee that was recommending this change, correct?
A I don't know.
Q Well, who was on the curriculum committee?
A Bill, Allen, and I can't remember the other one.
Q Was Sheila Harkins on it?
A I don't know.
Q Do you know if Sheila Harkins was supportive of intelligent design?
A I don't know that. I don't know. I never really thought about it.
Q So the two people you were really listening to and talking to about this were Bill Buckingham and Allen Bonsell.
A Yes.
Q And Casey Brown, I'll just tell you, Casey Brown was the last member of the curriculum committee. Does that sound right?
A Yes.
Q And she was not supportive of this change.
A No.
Q In fact, she was adamantly opposed to introducing intelligent design into the curriculum.
A Yes.
Q But you weren't listening to her, were you?
A She wasn't -- she was ignoring me, she wasn t mentoring me, so . . .
Q But she was there advocating against introduction of intelligent design, so it wasn't like the curriculum committee was unified?
A Right.
Q But you chose to listen to Mr. Buckingham and Mr. Bonsell?
A Correct.
Q Now, I know you said you don't have any background in science, correct?
A Correct.
Q And do you know whether Mr. Buckingham has a background in science?
A No, I do not.
Q Do you know that in fact he doesn't have a background in science?
A I don't know. He's law enforcement, so I would assume he had to take something along the way.
Q Did he ever tell you he knew something about biology?
A No.
Q How about Mr. Bonsell, do you know what his background is?
A No.
Q Do you know what he does for a living?
A He's a business owner, I believe.
Q He's not a scientist, to your knowledge?
A Not to my knowledge, no.
Q He's not a science teacher?
A No.
Q Now, there are people employed by the school district who do know a little something about science, correct?
A Correct.
Q And that would be the teachers.
A Yes.
Q And you know Ms. Bertha Spahr?
A Yes.
Q And she's been with the school district a long time.
A Yes.
Q And she's head of the science department.
A Yes.
Q And you know Ms. Miller.
A Yes.
Q And you know Mr. Eshbach.
A Yes.
Q And you know Mr. Lanker?
A I don't -- I wouldn't be able to place him, but I know the name, I know he's a teacher.
Q And he's a science teacher?
A Yes.
Q And you knew that the science teachers were all opposed to introducing intelligent design?
A Correct.
Q And the teachers had in fact told you that they were concerned about introducing intelligent design because they were worried that they would get sued.
A Correct.
Q And specifically they were worried about teaching from the Pandas book, correct?
A I don't -- I don't know.
Q Do you recall in August of 2004 you had a discussion about approving the new Biology book?
A Yes.
Q And at that time Mr. Buckingham did not want to vote to approve the Biology book unless Of Pandas and People was approved?
A Correct.
Q And do you recall Ms. Spahr making any comments about Of Pandas and People?
A No. No.
Q Could you look at page 63 of your deposition, please. Are you there?
A Yes.
....(Edited for brevity)...
Q And you knew that the teachers were opposed to introducing this intelligent design change because they were afraid they were going to get sued for teaching religion?
A Yes.
Q And so the only people in the school district that you're aware of that have a science background were opposed to introducing intelligent design; they thought it wasn t science, they thought it was religion, and you ignored that?
A Yes.
Q And you voted for the proposal because Mr. Buckingham and Mr. Bonsell encouraged you to do so?
A I agreed with them, that's why I voted for the proposal.

Folks - Mrs. Geesey is not an anomaly. She is not the only clueless, irresponsible clothes-horse-posing-as-a-human who has the power to decide what your child will be taught in school.

The rest of the Dover school board was equally dumbfounding in its ineptitude and dishonesty, and I highly recommend that you take the time to read the full transcripts at the talkorigins site. I would have sent you over to the Discovery Institute (an Intelligent Design proponent website) to read the transcripts, but true to form for these folks, they only posted the transcripts of the examination of the "expert witness" for the God of the Delaware Water Gaps faction, Michael Behe. I guess they don't want us to read the other stuff.

Some other highlights of the trial - The judge figures out that the donated copies of "Pandas" (the ID book that was to be recommended as additional reading) were provided by church donations, and this fact was hidden by some Mickey Mouse money laundering that the defense witness tried to hide. The defense witness's sputtering responses to the judge's angry red-faced interrogation on this charade is either extremely sad or extremely funny, I can't decide which.

With the exception of Michael Behe (who was torn to shreds) all of the "expert witnesses" for the defense backed out of testifying once they realized that they would be placed on the witness stand and all of their testimony (plus their published work) would be subject to public critical scientific examination as part of the trial.

In a seemingly rare display of people making real changes through the voting process, the entire Republican contingent of the Dover school board (8 out of 9 members) was voted out on election day.

In a typical display of disengagement from reality, Pat Robertson admonished the voters of Dover for abandoning God, despite the fact that the school board's entire defense case rested on the assertion that Intelligent Design has nothing to do with God.

Be aware people, and know who is on your school board. The future is on the line.

Next, we'll go to Kansas where we will learn that it is necessary to redefine science in order to make the scientific theory of Intelligent Design.....um.... scientific.