Thursday, May 25, 2006

Another Fine Day In America (as told in pictures and captions)

Dear Mr. Bush.

You are a man of faith, like me. You are like my home boy, in that respect, except that in all other respects you are like a plague upon the Earth, you miserable shit. Peace be upon those who enrich uranium in the name of God.

Mr. President,

We should be friends. Embrace Islam or die.

Peace, out.

Mr. President – Do not under any circumstances respond to that letter. It is a threat. Fuckers are crazy. Nuke them now.

The insurgency is in its last throes. Hey, whatever happened to that (brrrrrrrrp) pheasant I shot?

mmmm the ffffff times they arebbb a cherangin’…cough....

Pssst. Little Zionist girl. Over here. Want a candy? Want to go for a ride in my car?

Yo, Ah kin see Trent Lott’s new house from here! Hain’t she a beauty?

Ah KNOW the Bible Is REAL, but Ah also know the Da Vinci Code is REALER.

OK, line up boys. We’re gonna pick cotton and I’m gonna give each of you a DOLLAR for a day’s work!

“Que Bueno senor!!!! Muchas Gracias!!!”

Goddam immigrants are stealin’ our jobs.

Sure it’s ok to sing our national anthem in Spanish. But it should always be sung in English.

Amenece ¿lo veis?a la luz de la aurora….

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Too Much to Handle

OK, I haven't written in a while. Not because there hasn't been much to write about, but because there is just too much crazy shit going on right now. There's so much noise out there I can't wrap my head around it. I look around myself and say "Why is it so hot in here and what are we all doing in this handbasket?"

So what should I write about? Iran's spooky letter to George Bush? The chilling revelation that there is a government database of phone calls with records of all MY calls in it? The ongoing infusion of "Christian Nationalists" into the US political system? Daily suicide bombings in Iraq? The attempt on the part of internet service providers to police internet traffic according to revenue? The justice department's inability (or refusal) to investigate NSA wiretapping? Brittany Spears has been allowed to procreate again?

Each of these things is worthy of its own blog. Some may be worthy of several installments. But I'm too overwhelmed right now to do anything but wallow in my own angst.

Back soon.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

The Unrelated Negative Meme

Upon request from the illustrious Viscount, whose own Unrelated Negative Meme will be hard to top, I am tackling only the first part of his UNM:

5 Bands I Used To Like But Don't Anymore:

Lynnrd Skynnrd

I admit it. I did actually like Skynnrd once. The guitar work on Sweet Home Alabama just tickles me good, and the song is kinda cool too. Aside from that, however, we've got Skynnrd to thank for "Ooooh That Smell", "Gimme Three Steps" and the godforsaken "Free Bird". I don't know why it took me until I graduated college to realize that these guys were just drunken rednecks playing to crowds of equally drunken rednecks. Maybe it had something to do with my mental state in college. Anyway, even in that genre, the only thing worse than Lynnrd Skynnrd is Post-Airplane Crash Lynnrd Skynnrd.


Actually, I still love early Chicago stuff. Back when they were still the Chicago Transit Authority. I had a 4-disc live album when I was in high school that I wore out several turntable needles on. The interweaving of jazz horn arrangements with rock guitar and drums was novel and brilliantly done - stuff like "Ballet for a Girl in Buchanan" is timeless. Then one day they apparently handed over the creative reins to Peter Cetera and became the Chicago Corn Dog Authority.

Bob Dylan

Historical figure. Brilliant lyricist. Activist. Storyteller. Quirky stylist. He was all those things and more, I suppose. Now he's toast. Saw him live last week at the New Orleans jazz festival and tried to feel the emotions associated with being in the presence of a rock deity. Instead, I felt the emotions associated with being in the presence of a croaking toad in a white cowboy suit . Dylan has reached a point in his career where he looks like shit, sounds like shit, his band sucks and his songs are boring. Other than that, he's great. Plus he's weirder than a three dollar bill which for some artists can be a good thing, but for this one is most definitely not.

Post-Beatles George Harrison

I'll probably take some flack for this (especially after dissing Dylan), but nothing George did after the Beatles moo -who -wooves me. I don't mind listening to some of it, but I own no post-Beatles George in my collection and I don't feel all that deprived in light of it. His melodies sometimes sound just wrong to me, his voice is not always appealing, and that prissy solo guitar tone he favors...well....he's done a lot better. I don't need to go into detail about the Traveling Dingleberries, either. Still, I have tremendous respect for his integrity and his ability to maintain his dignity through any situation - qualities he displayed throughout his entire life.

Colin Moulding

Now, pay attention to what I'm doing here. I am in no way disparaging or even lessening my admiration for XTC as a band. But in the past I would pick my way through earlier XTC albums to get to the Colin Moulding songs because they were always the high point on the CD for me. Lately however, they've become the low point. Colin, in my opinion, has lost his voice, and I don't mean his singing voice.

King For A Day, English Roundabout, I Remember The Sun and other priceless gems have given way to "The Smartest Monkeys" (great music, pretentious lyrics), "Frivolous Tonight", "Fruit Nut", "Board It Up", the unbelievably annoying "Standing in for Joe" and a host of other duds. Maybe it's time for Colin to hang up his spurs.

Fire away.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Bush on The Beatles

"I liked their early stuff. They did some good records. But then they got a bit weird. I didn't like all that later stuff when they got strange."